C. P. Belliappa's Column

C.P.Belliappa’s new ‘theory’ on origin of Coorgs

(By: C.P. Belliappa)

There are many theories about origin of Coorgs. I have been picking my brains on this enigmatic issue like many Coorgs do and have done. It’s been some time since I have had this uncanny suspicion that we are actually Gauls! The more I think about the similarities between Gauls and Coorgs the more convinced I am of my hypothesis. I am sure ‘Asterix’ aficionados will agree with me on this ‘theory’ of mine.

For starters, Coorg is much like that indomitable Gaulish village that Romans under Julius Cesar failed to completely subdue and control. Similarly, we had the powerful Hyder Ali, and his son Tipu Sultan, try their utmost to conquer Coorg but they could only hold on to this inhospitable terrain and the battle-hardened inhabitants tenuously for about 10 years.

The starkest likeness between the Gauls and the Coorgs is their fondness for pork, especially the wild variety. Our ancestors spent a great deal of their leisure time hunting wild boars. Every family is replete with stories handed down over generations, of their forefathers’ adventures in the thick jungles of Coorg. And then, there have been umpteen of those faithful and loveable Dogmatrix in Coorg homes of yore, who participated in every hunting expedition.

A successful hunt culminated in the Gaulish village feasting, drinking, and dancing till late in the evening. Likewise, plenty of Bolle-Kalle flowed after the Coorgs returned from a hunt. My grandfather was one such who enjoyed his botte. Before he set-out on his hunting trip along with his team, he used to instruct his wife and other women in the household to be prepared for cooking large quantities of meat even if it was late in the night. The bush-meat was liberally washed down with gallons of Bolle-Kalle. It is easy to imagine Asterix and Obelix look-alike Coorgs in every okka returning with spoils of their hunt. Our ancestors too sported the droopy walrus mustache typical of the Gauls. My grandfather had a strong resemblance to Obelix!

In every family Ayn House the Pattedara was like a Vitalstatistix. He bossed over the family, and invariably had a bossy and termagant wife reminiscent of Impedimenta!

As for the magic potion brewed by the druid Getafix, we have an equivalent in our madduputtu. Our mothers and grandmothers excelled (and still do) in preparing this delectable dish which kept us healthy and built resistance from various infections.

Well, we have to only visit our market place to see a whole bunch of Unhygienix at work!

Our wedding houses have very many parallels with Gauls celebrating and feasting. As for our music, Cacofonix would have been immensely proud!

Now, isn’t that sufficient spoofy proof?