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KODAVAME: WOMEN ARE STILL THE LESSER MORTALS IN KODAVA (COORG) SOCIETY

By Kottangada Deepika Cariappa

Having been brought up in a nuclear family in the city, I spent many years under the naive assumption that the culture I belong to – Kodava – treats women as equals to men. Kodavas or Coorgs live in Kodagu district of Karnataka.

This was loosely based on what I saw at home: my parents were both bread earners, both took care of household chores and the upbringing of the child. This happy illusion was shattered when I was old enough to understand the phone calls they were dealing with from our relatives.

“You only have one daughter. Why do you need property in Kodagu? Why don’t you give it up to your brothers who have sons?,” said the callers.

I was stumped. All along, here I was thinking that heirs were naturally chosen irrespective of their gender for all purposes. I didn’t know that there was a societal lens that will look at whether that heir is a girl or a boy.

What is shameful is that to this day, the same discourse continues. Male cousins and uncles threatening to fight for “their rightful share of property” that our ancestors painfully earned and bestowed judiciously upon their heirs, female members of their families supporting their claims…. The vicious cycle continues.

Another embarrassing development is of some bachelors looking for “prospective brides with property” because in their minds, what is their future wife’s will naturally and rightfully be theirs. They are men, after all.

It’s wonderful that the community is coming together after all these years for issues affecting them, but isn’t it high time that we nip these outdated practices from the dark ages in the bud at least now?